13.1 is not half of anything......

      I'm not holding back, if one person, EVER says to me, you just ran the half? or you only ran the half? I'm going to give whom ever that is the swiftest taco kick,no matter race, creed, sex or age.  I will be an equal opportunity crotch punter if running 13.1 miles is some how made to feel like the "ugly sister" of a race.  Because in my life, that bitch is the best, hardest thing I've ever done and I can't wait to do, next to child birth!  And we had to medically intervene to stop me from repeating that anymore than 4 times! Needless to say, I'm hooked! But it wasn't love at first mile.

     I was so nervous the few days leading up to the race. My training got wonky due to pneumonia & Lupus making a lovely appearance for no reason.  It was ravaging not just my training but my mental game plan.  I had myself psyched up, freaked out, rocking in the fetal position and reaching out for a life line! Cheese & Rice, thank you for the divine intervention of my running friends at MRTT.  Between the high priestess of all things positive and reaffirming & my Fit Chick Food lovie who is a bad ass, I felt like I wasn't going to die.  I also had some pretty good motivation/distractions & my hugely supportive running wifey! I am going to kick this races ass right after I do all the things I have to do to make sure that if I do die, the kids will have clean under wear for a week and everybody will be good on probiotics & multivitamins!

     Packets picked up, race clothes laid out, running game plan mapped out, alarms set, life will go on in the case of my demise for at least a week, and the hubs is making me the best possible Gluten Free Carb loaded protein packed meal.  Now, I'm left to take the advice of the  leader of the MRTT pack (aka high priestess of my running sanity) and dedicate each mile to someone . To stay focused. OK. I can do that. I haven't wrote in my journal in a while. Kill two birds with one stone. Fucking nightmare. Crying through journal entry. Nice!  Designating the miles, damn near hysterical! This is just perfect.  I love feeling all these feelings!
NO, NOT EVER. So, here is the list. My blurb behind why & what really happened!

      *this is long, sappy, foul mouthed, gross and not for everybody YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*

13.1
      1. Drew Scott -why: my first love,learning experience,heart break &saving grace
                              really: these people are going to run me off this pot holey ass road
      2. Carter Joseph- why: hes overcome so much. so can I.
                              really: it's so windy. I can't stop coughing. I may puke!
      3. Brady Robert- why: my  5k running heart of gold who saved my life
                              really: I almost puked on that chick, maybe will get off my ass now!
      4. Ayden Randall-why: the final piece of my puzzle & my favorite miles to run
                               really: holy shit 4 miles! I'm killing this.
      5. Noah Walker- why: I'm his NerNer. He's my Noey. I'm so happy to have him here in MI
                               really: It is not cold anymore. I'm thirsty. My wifey's choice in energy food...ewwww
      6. My Sister -      why: This is my farthest race I've ever run & she is the one I know will be there no                                                matter how far I go.
                               really: Hell yes! Half way! (until the cop at the mile marker say "just let you ladies know                                          the first person has finished", Fuck that guy!)
      7. Squad-           why: there are so many awesome women & men in my life that have supported me                                               when I have been sick,healthy, running, not running, fat,skinny, miserable, happy!                                           Seven is lucky and I'm very lucky!
                                 really: it's getting really cold again and I'm cramping up. WTF is this pain...I'm                                                         done...I'm texting Kevin.
      8.Dad & Judy-  why:  So glad that love is us getting passed 8 years of stubborn. Happy that's all over!
                               really: The hubs & the boys surprised me. I cry. Can't quit now. I call on my inner                                                    Eminem, "I'm gonna turn around with a great smile, and walk my white ass back                                            across 8 mile.....
     9.Ray & Chris- why: more like my big brother and sister than uncle & aunt. Best family & friends ever.
                              really: If my running wife tries to feed me one more nasty jelly bean i'm going to stab her!
    10&11. Kevin- why: the "hubs" for eleventy million things. Because we never know how long we have                                          been married. Because he is my best friend and spoils me rotten. Because he knew if                                    I made it this far I was never backing down. Mostly because he put up with all ME                                        every damn day!
                            really: this is the farthest I have ever run. I can just be ok with quitting. Its still an                                                    accomplishment. But damn it! Those kids are at this mile too. And then, the airplane                                      hanger with the music and the cute boys in the white Lamborghini. Fuck......I                                                CAN'T QUIT!
   12. Laura Miller-why: I don't people. But when you meet someone and instantly it's love at first sight! You                                      hold on tight.  We became family fast and I can't stand going days with out seeing                                          her face. Running, lifting, laughing, steaming, drinking, fowling, eating, pedis,....I                                            could
go on for ever. She is amazing!
                            really: uphill in the wind, or at least if feels like it, plus I'm carrying a dead body. I swear to                                      Jeebus Crust! Oh no, that's my frozen thunder thighs. I'm just more of a 10k runner,                                      this is stupid.
13. my mother-    why: I've wrapped a lot of the last 13 years trying to heal from losing you. It will happen.                                      You always loved to watch me run. Well, I'm running now!
                            really:We made it! Are you kidding me? I didn't die? I'm going to hug Laura so hard she                                        pukes. I can't wait to sit down. I hope I can stand back up. I wonder if there is a                                          half I can do in June?
   .1 the rest of you- why: if you have given me bullshit, hid bullshit, tried to sell me bullshit, lied to me about                                          your bullshit, included me in your bullshit, or just quit me over some bullshit. I've let                                        it go. I don't give a single fuck about you or any of it any more. I left all of it in that                                        one .1 mile. Be happy,be miserable, just be something other than trying to steal my                                        joy. Because I left all of it right there.
                              really: TRUE STORY

Take Care of You.......

You Got to Know When To Hold Em

   I have officially been 39, for a 2 weeks and one day. That is all.  Two weeks and one day into my year of being a bad ass and I already am questioning everything. Literally, EVERY-MOTHERFUCKING-THING!  I feel less prepared for life than I ever have.   And let's just call a spade a spade, I have some pretty questionable life moments that lacked preparation, i.e  pregnancy (x4), committing to being a blonde, tattoos,and so on and so on..... In general I don't care if I'm making the "right" decision or think things all the way through.  I follow my gut and play out the hand I'm dealt.  I'm a "live and die" on the river kind of girl, always waiting to see what is the last card the dealer will flip up to make or break my hand.  How's that working for me? I can't complain for the most part. But I'll be damned if the last two weeks haven't been a real test of my poker face.

     This last week especially.  Holy hell, who do I have to screw to catch a break in the health department!  Endocrinologist, "It's not a tumor". Great, I'm not going to die.  However, there is no other real explanation for why I run like a Kenyan, all be it a slow one, eat Paleo(ish) and stick to my meds (most of the time) that I should not be feeling better, losing weight and have the energy of a teenager.  Well isn't that a gem!  Even better, there is a medicine I could try, to fix that but insurance won't cover it! Yeah! Thanks for nothing. And on to the next one.  Family Practice DO, "you sound like hell!".  No kidding.  Two days after I asked the Endocrinologist to listen to my chest, that he said was clear, I have pneumonia.  Pneumonia, sinusitis, and a shot of Rocephin for good measure.  Yeah me! Nothing like a healthy does of herpasyphagonilitis to make you feel like 39 is the new 80!  Unless you spend any time with your kids and go to a doctor, then you will feel worse.

     All jacked up on antibiotics and steroids with the oldest and I get to go for our eye exams.  We both need new glasses, thanks to the dog and it's been a year or so.  Driving out there is fun enough just listening to the difference between him at 19 and me at 19.  I was a mother. He doesn't know how to do anything without his mother.  I was married.  He never wants to be married.  It's all a fun forced family experience until the lady says bifocals. What the ? For who? Oh, um, no? I'm 39. I'm not wearing no damn bi-focals.  Hysterics from the oldest as I except that not only am I old but also medications & Lupus have degraded my eyes.  Bifocals for this beotch! Whiny and whipped I except my age & the things I can not change. Its going to get better.  I get to go hang out with an old friend for my yearly contribution to the food service industry at the Lenten fish fry!

     There are certain things that can not lie.  One of them is my face.  It is all telling.  There is absolutely no way in hell that when a 15 year old table clearer, working community service, gives me sass about what her "job" is  that my face didn't read " I will not hesitate to mop the floor with your face" even before the words came out of my mouth!  Or when the nice young lady ordered the black bean burger and requested that it be cooked on a surface where "no flesh had ever touched", I'm sure my face said " you have got to be fucking kidding me. This is the Knight of Columbus.  Every surface has had flesh on it! This is a fish fry!".   The topper on the cake of the night however was, super cute hipster.  He wanted a wheat & gluten free vodka.  Not because he has Celiac's.  He has an allergy to "something to do with wheat".  He didn't want to go over the top with his drink and the beer battered fish.  I know my face said, " You're getting Mohawk vodka & I'm charging you for Chopin because people like you make my life a living hell".  I bit my tongue til it bled.  I made it out alive and so did everybody else.

      I promptly left as soon as the oil was cooled and drove straight to the corner bar.  I ordered a cheeseburger medium rare with crispy fries. Pray for my non-practicing Catholic soul . I had two gluten laden cold ass beers and a fabulous lemon drop.  My belly hurt the next day.  This is exactly why I question my ability to make good decisions as a 39 year old woman! I'm sure I will continue to make questionable decisions.  Maybe I will be more conscious of it.   Yes, that is it.  I won't throw the whole year out the window after two weeks and 1 day.  So, I've had to start wearing bifocals. I have more face creams than letters in my name. I concentrate harder when I cough and sneeze. I bought a sewing machine because i figured I need to learn at my age. I have to take a few more medicines and probably need to control my impulses a bit.  However, the cheeseburger was great. Cold beer is my Achilles heel. The lemon drop was worth it.  Closing the bar on a Sunday sometimes needs to be done. And sewing could be cool.

Take Care of You

Monday will never be the bride, always the bridesmaid.

   
    Trying to find some wise words of wisdom to talk myself in to believing that I can
out funk this day.  It's just so blah! 4 hours in the Infusion Center with the man-child doesn't help.  He is one of the healthiest "chronic" people here.  There are a lot worse things going on, on  floors just above and  right below me.  It makes me thank God it's just Chron's.  So, that is positive.  Slightly less ho-hum than being crabby about being here for Monday afternoon. Happy little boys so excited to be getting the hell out of the hospital , who hug you and tell you that you smell pretty, also doesn't suck!

    Then why do most (or all) Mondays just suck! There has never been ( for me) nor will there ever be ( because I know everything) a good Monday.  Has anyone even ever wrote a happy song about Monday? Is there anything even slightly delightful about Monday to write even a little ditty? FUCK NO!  There's your answer.  But if someone know's of one, I'll take a listen & see what it says.  Equal opportunity hater here!  I can't get it together.  My get up & go, got up & went somewhere and I'm pretty sure that there is no returning address! So what the hell am I gonna do, I have a 4 miler next Monday night & my first half (13.1 long ass)miles in about 5 weeks.  And the only thing that keeps popping in my head is this...
     This phrase of unknown origin speaks to me. About a million, things but mostly the need to feel content, to be safe, have my health, be the best mother,wife,lover, daughter, sister, friend, etc......And waiting for the other shoe to drop.  WTF is with that? I feel my best me when I'm whole 30 eating,blog writing, race running, SUV full of sporting equipment, me.  So, why do I fight it? Doubt it? Even sabotage it?  ( que the Beastie Boys Sabotage)  I push back so hard and let things,big or small, steal that from me.  It's essentially the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.  And I think neither of them have a clue between them of what the hell is going on with me!

     It gets better.  It always does. Turns out today is actually National Margarita Day.  Not to bad for a Monday.  Definitely makes Monday night looking a whole lot more palatable now that I know there is tequila involved. Maybe I will actually finish this aimless blog and enjoy the evening.  As of this moment, things are looking very suspect.  The Littlest won't quit telling me how good my margarita looks and even though the hubs is preparing a totally delicious Paleo friendly dinner of carne asada street-style tacos, my cravings are a little more savage! I could absolutely take down a box of Girl Scout Cookies and cold piece of my 15lb lasagna, while watching Wives with Knives with no pants on!  I won't.   Because, to quote Dr.House, "Slutty party girl is fun,til she pukes on her shoes--then she's just a pain in the ass".   I don't want to be the slutty pain in the ass party girl.  Well, at least not on a Monday!

     Tuesday will come and I will be better, right?  It will be.  Already one margarita in, 7 boys feasting on quesadillas, soft tacos, hard tacos and guacamole.  No tv. No practices.  The hubs and I will eat alone once the savages are satiated.  Presently, the most important thing in the entire world is that Bob's Kroger 86'd the Choco Taco and their childhoods are now  ruined.  If that is the first thing that comes to their minds when considering life altering childhood memories, is the lack of Choco Tacos, I might actually get that "mother of the year award" just yet! *lights flickering*

Take Care of You......

p.s.  whilst proofreading this, I immediately remembered why, I will never be mother of the year. Why?  Because my kids never shut the hell up & I can't gag them!

Hello, It's me........

     Such a cliche tag line, but I'm going with it.  I'm 5 full days into my 39th year and I have far exceeded the amount of belly aching & retching I anticipated ( and not from over serving myself ).  Straight up, had the stomach flu not once but twice.  For sure the gifts from my fabulous boys.  4 kids spread out over 3 campuses means huge helpings of germs, not to mention my underachieving immune system.  I was a hot ass mess!  My intentions were to enjoy my birthday week and set out on having the best year for me.  I have some big things on the horizons and even bigger ideas inside. Somethings I have shared and others I haven't. I did however have a request of one thing from me this year. And it made me stop,think & decide, I owe him, my kids, my family, myself and my mom something. Forgiveness. A finality to everything. A goodbye. A hello. A why? A why not? A this is me now. A this is what I was. Not all at once and not even a little everyday. Just to try.  And this is how I got there......

    Friday February 12th, I had an awesome run with my running wifey & a busy day with the hubs.  I knew I needed to rest because we had fun plans with friends for the next evening , my celebration.   I laid down for a nap and woke up melancholic.  It happens a lot when you are me.  The hubs is pretty understanding of my depression and such.  I laid in bed debating eating dinner or having a pity party for one, when I realized what the hell was on my television.  Say Yes to the Dress.  What the fuck is this and why am I watching. And still watching and judging. Out of no where, I'm crying.  Not just a few drops, I'm talking waterfalls. Ugly Oprah Winfrey type cry!  I text the hubs ( Yes, we text each other in the same house from different rooms! Don't hate).  

me :  Why am I crying over Say yes to the dress?

Hubs: Because you are crazy?lol

me:  no shit.

Hubs: Sorry we didn't have a big wedding.

me: I never wanted that.  That doesn't bother me.  I was never that girl you know that.  

Hubs: well, then, why?

me:  It's the mom's.  The mother/daughter shit. I know it. I hate that. She never got to see me happy. I regret that.

Hubs:  Your Happy?

me:  If you're going to be funny I'm going to be the grammar Nazi. It's "you're". And yes I am happy.  If I wasn't happy I wouldn't try so hard for you and the boys. 

Hubs:  Seriously, Erin, if you could do one thing for me, take a notebook and just write her.  Tell her what your doing.  Tell her what you are feeling.  Doesn't have to be deep or important every time or long. Just try.

me:  I need to do that.  I think about it a lot when I run. You are right.  I will try.

Hubs:  I'm proud of everything you do. Your running & taking care of yourself. But if you did this it would mean the most.  

me:  I suck at forgiveness.

Hubs:  If someone can forgive when their entire family has been wiped out by a drunk driver, you can forgive your mom.

me:  maybe

    I stopped writing.  I stopped blogging a while back.  I miss it.  I decided to start here.  Ease my way back into it. It is hard to just sit down and write a letter to someone who you thought would have forever.  To write about my anger. To write about my happiness. To write about my family and how much her selfish act changed my way of being with them.  It will come.  It will happen.  It probably will be messy but I promise it won't always depressing!   I want to blog a lot this year about my ventures and my way to forgiveness.  

Take Care of You........

Wrapping up the Whole 30

     Officially, I am 5 days post Whole 30.  It's finally feeling like summer and I feel outstanding!  My accomplishments with the Whole 30 were this.... I lost 5 prescription medications for my Lupus and its side effects.  I have learned so much about what is in foods that I thought were "good for me" like gluten free substitutes for pasta,crackers,cereal etc.  I no longer want sugar unless it is from natural sources.  My energy levels are the best I can remember. I don't need a nap everyday and my night sleeping is so sound. I have been able to hang out and play with the boys.  I also lost 18 pounds.  I know that is a significant amount.  I also know that this is a long journey and not a sprint for me.  Becoming aware of that and my twisted relationship with food and alcohol is my favorite lesson I learned through the Whole 30.

     I'm pretty sure I am not the only one who uses food and alcohol to soothe themselves.  I also do it to "fix" everybody else.  If things get hard, uncomfortable or emotional , I will gladly whip up a 17lb lasagna and open as many bottles of wine it takes.  I will do what ever needs to be done to avoid dealing with mine or anybody else around me, when they are upset.  I thought for sure getting fed and tipsy was just what the doctor ordered.  Apparently, I was wrong.  Instead, over the last 30+ days I have cried, argued, put myself in time out and rationally discussed all kinds of things.  It was crazy hard but one of the most important things I learned about myself! So, yeah me!

     Now that I am free to eat all the things, I can't.  I can not bring myself to just let loose and get gluttonous with food.  I have decided to eat pretty close to Paleo & Whole 30 with a little tweaking.  And by tweaking I mean booze &  some cheese.  I can not imagine not having feta & goat cheese.  I love those things & they make other food just so much tastier.  For the sake of my sanity and my family's well being I will have to have wine & vodka! Not in the same drink , but for relaxation & yummy goodness.  I love a nice Pinot Noir at the end of the night! I need a vodka & lemonade on the boat! Those little things that make life slightly less hard are not going to steal my health!  I never want to let Lupus and how it effects me be because of how I treat my body, EVER AGAIN!

    So, this is my accountability post! I am going to continue running, eating well & enjoying my summer.  We have so much fun planned as a family & just the hubs and I.  I am going to thoroughly enjoy all the the things that July has in-store for us. I'm going to promise to try hard to not over think everything and wonder when the other shoe will drop.  I won't let Lupus control my brain and creep in with the negative nagging of knowing that there is no cure.  I will never be able to say I "used" to have Lupus, but what I can do is go into remission. I can tell everybody & everyone about how I  "used" to feel and how much it controlled my participation in my life.  I will be able to show off how I am living life to its fullest in spite of Lupus!  Whole 30 round 2 starts August 1 2015! Anybody that loves themselves and the people around them can do this! 30 days can change your life!.

Take care of you ....

Whole 30 Day 18 & the struggle is REALEST!

.....So real , that in the last 10 days I haven't been able to come up with a better blog title than that! Ewww. I hate redundancy, but really that is all I could come with .I have hit the proverbial wall of, blah! My disdain for redundant things is probably why I would have slapped the Pope this morning for something other than eggs! Imagine that, I wanted to have Greek yogurt and cardboardy tasting gluten free granola rather than eggs and bacon with sweet potato hash.  That my friends is where the light came on. If I were in a cartoon the bubble over my head when have been a beacon beaming light as I realized that I have a fucked up relationship with food, sugar and alcohol!

     ( in the voice of the guy that says_____days later on Spongebob ) 4 days earlier.  Late Tuesday afternoon / early evening, I completely melt down on the Hubs.  I have a very small recollection of what it was about, but really I was mostly pissed cause he was able to nap ( when ever or where ever. Freak!) and he was eating an oatmeal cookie. I went into complete helpless female cry about how hard this was! Ugly cry, unavoidable, and no explanation would come out but, " You don't know how hard this is!".  I was crying about food and drinking.  Unreal!

      ( in the voice of the guy that says_____days later on Spongebob ) 3 days earlier.  I'm sitting in The Children's Hospital waiting room.  The older of the middles was having an upper GI scope.  He has Chron's.  This was a check up to see if we need a more evasive medication because he had been having some issues.  He was back in the OR and I was feverishly texting with the Hubs & the oldest.  Thoroughly annoyed & ready to be done with all 18 years of my oldest. I'm eating my banana , sipping on my lemon water and crying, again!  I'm sitting in this room with complete strangers, tears streaming, fingers typing a million miles a minute and the entire time I'm glaring at this woman next to the vending machine.  She was snoozing against the vending machine with a Coke and a Subway meal deal jammed in her hospital issued bag.  I totally wanted to steal it & rock in the fetal position after I smashed it in 3 minutes flat!  I haven't had a Coke in years and I haven't eaten yoga mat Subway bread or their slimy lunch meat, in even longer.  I am completely losing my fucking mind!

( in the voice of the guy that says_____days later on Spongebob ) Later that Day.   Scope went swell. He is healing nicely.  Yeah! Score one for the home team! Life and evening will go on as planned!  8th Grade Honors night will go with out any interruption.  Until, I happened.  My oldest middle is most classically known as the smartest dumb kid you would know.  He is book smart but pushes on a door that says pull.  He is strong and handsome but also not very proficient with his social skills.  At the juice and cookies portion of the 8th grade super-drama (thanks to me) he is with his crush and her family. I'm standing alone, not having cookies or juice, crushing my water bottle and yearning for the gum out of Lu's mouth. ( she is my bff it would have been ok) I suddenly decide it's all about me and how I'm alone and being ignored by my son on HIS night ( not mine).  I teary eyed storm off with a , "I'm going to the car".  He is baffled.  I drive with him to where we are to have his celebration dinner.  I'm crying again.  I turn up the radio at an attempt to stop the nonsensical behavior, that I have taken on as my norm.  He turns down the radio and asks what's wrong.  He feels awful. He is confused. He is asking the Hubs and the Oldest what the hell is wrong with me.  They are all ready to call the White coats and the wagon to come get me.  Dinner ruined. Mom sucks. Life goes on.

( in the voice of the guy that says_____days later on Spongebob ) Present Day.  The oldest middle left this morning for a 10 day vacay to Texas.  I get up , give him his meds & shot , hug and good-bye.  My chest is so tight and I'm so agitated.  All I can think about is yogurt. Yogurt & granola. Yogurt, gluten free granola, & cheese. Yogurt,gluten free granola, cheese & wine! I must eat all the cheese and drink all the wine.  Then I will feel better. Ding! There it is.  There is my light bulb moment.  Ladies and gentlemen, I suck at grieving. I suck at other peoples grieving.  I have little control over how I feel and what to do when my emotions are out of control.  I immediately think of what I can eat & drink or cook & serve to make me and everybody else feel better.  I didn't even need an intervention or Dr.Phil to figure that shit out.  I will how ever be paying out the nose in family therapy for those that have to live with me while I figure this out!

Take care of you............

8 days in and the struggle is real!

      It's the second day of June and the Whole 30 struggle is real! I am officially half way through my eighth day and I want to kill something or eat all the things!  My resting bitch face has become my permanent expression for the entire day.  Nobody gets me. I'm misunderstood. The kids are laughing too loud. I want to stab the hubs for clicking the mouse to much.  It's infuriating the way that the "middle" has to walk around with ear buds all the time.  Why do the dogs smell so much, like dogs?  Yes! This is the status of my mental well being at this moment.  I would give my oldest away for a piece of cheese and a glass of Cabernet. ( I'd actually just give him away for nothing, Just as secure no return policy.)

     That is a little dramatic and highly exaggerated, but it is some of the down side to the Whole 30.  I am definitely detoxing.  I am definitely moody and edgy! I am definitely ready to get sized up for my prison orange coveralls.  But that is just today!  There is the upside to this.  The last 8 days have not been like this at all.  Other than a slight headache on and off since I started, I have felt amazing!  I have had more energy. I've been able to enjoy my runs again.  I'm sleeping like a teenager ( like all the time).  I am enjoying some of the most amazing foods and drinking all the water I need.  My joints don't ache.  My heart is not palpitating.  I'm not nearly as swollen. My Celiacs isn't flaring up. My skin is brighter. In general, this is the best I have felt in more than two years. And that my friends scares the absolute life out of me.

     When you live with Lupus and other auto-immune diseases it is terrifying when you feel good.  I start to question everything and wait with anticipation for the other shoe to drop.  I try to be cautious with my spike in energy because I am afraid of over doing it and putting my self in a flare.  I pay way to much attention to the good sore that comes with increasing my workouts. Constantly wondering is this the beginning of days of pain filled sleepless nights.  It is scary to feel good.  The saving grace to this is my amazing cast of characters that support me and keep me in touch with reality!

     My support system is one of a kind and my biggest blessing.  It ranges from my amazing hubs and family, to my girlfriends who always know when to talk me out of my crazy!  With out all of them I'd be a Whole 30 drop out and mad at myself, for sure!  Although, it would be nice if someone accidentally slipped a little vino in my water bottle! I received a Get Well soon card from the Merchants of Vino. Their store has seen a drastic dip in profits the last week and they assumed I was ill! I kid! I kid!

     I have been taking pictures of some of the amazing food that the hubs and I have been making.  I will share them with you and if you are interested in recipes just give me a shout out! This journey isn't easy and the struggle is real! But I have a feeling that the end results are going to be worth it all!
Take care of you....

Fajita Salad

Brick Chicken ,roasted potatoes & Greek-ish salad

Bolognese zucchini boats with tabbouleh

Chicken Salad 

Roast Turkey Breast with root veggies & sweet potatoes