Saturday, June 1, 2013

Letting it go.....

     There is nothing easy about being the momma to four boys. There is nothing easy about Lupus.  Put those together and it's just short of overwhelming.  This morning was one of those mornings.  These type of mornings that are just a whirlwind of jock straps, dirty cleats,missing baseball hats, forgotten water bottles and four letter words. The littlest (A) had his first tee ball game and pictures. The little (B) had ball game and pictures. The middle (C) had football camp. The biggest(D) has a district final  games potentially a double header for the championship.  All of which happen with in a few miles of each other and all about the same time. Not nearly enough time for the hubs and I to do it all alone. I called in the boys Aunt Chris. We have it all set. Then life happens!

     Torrential rain over the past few days has all things FUBAR. B's game cancelled but still pictures. D's game post-poned for 3 hours. A & C things are still a go. So, Aunt Chris got relieved of her duties and the hubs is managing it all. The reason he is managing it all, is because of the fabulous humidity  and my need to over due it yesterday trying to clean and get everything ready for today.  God bless that man. I swear he is not perfect. He can actually be a total ass at times. But when it comes to these things I think he needs a medal!

     I'm in bed, medicated with two foul smelling mastiffs! My legs are in a pain I can only explain of as what James Caan must have felt in the movie Misery when Kathy Bates hobbled him. It's making me a little loopy it hurts so bad. Loopy and foggy are also a charming talent when I try to be productive by emailing and signing the kids up for summer activities. I can't remember who's what age and which sport I'm emailing about. I'm a one woman shit show!  My own self guilt for missing things and not spending time with the hubs has my belly in knots and keeping no food down.  I'm passed the point of foggy pain and just moved on to my one woman pity party. ( Seriously, the way these dogs smell no one would come to my party anyway)

    This pity party includes an ipad, my iphone(aka my woobie), my laptop, 250lbs of dogs, and at least 11 pillows.  This is just in bed. I also require my air conditioner, a fan and two sets of clothes on the floor ( one for when I'm freezing and the other for when the sweats kick in). On my night stand I have my water glass with straw (teeth sensitive thanks MTX), remote control, and house phone.  Just when I think I have everything covered to lay here and feel sorry for myself I realize I need my glasses because I can't read the tv guide from the bed! Damn it! I have important decisions to make here. I must see!

     These important decisions I have to make will determine how crazy my texts will get later.  I'm beyond obsessed with NatGeo and ID.  I flip flop between my fascination with Alaska and creepy psycho killers. Alaska is winning right now. I seriously have this plan working in my brain of a relocation there (that is a blog in it's own right)!  I will probably switch to ID and watch a Wicked Women marathon  for a while. Nothing makes a bedridden medicated woman feel better about herself than a show about husbands who woo needy women into killing their chronically ill wives for the insurance money! Ha! I'm just getting sillier as this goes.

   I'm so glad I started doing this! I already feel a little better for just laughing at myself and writing down my self guilt issues. I realize I need to get over it, because those who know me and love me understand. Even the wee littlest won't hold it against me so I should let it go! So, that's what I'll try! The pain, well that's just going to be there today. So, a nap and some meds and hopefully a nice family dinner. Funny, I'm already feeling a little better.

Take Care of You

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