Tuesday, May 19, 2015

I don't want to be a miserable cow......

      I spent the better part of yesterday at the Endocrinologist and getting blood work.  I see a lot of doctors.  I take a lot of meds. Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Celiac's disease, depression, miserable cow syndrome and anxiety! Apparently, auto-immune diseases like me. The most recent hurdle I have had to add to my laundry list of auto-immune issues is hypothyroidism/Hashimoto's disease.  They all suck but this one plays a hell of a game on a girl's self esteem.  I am more tired, more depressed and have even less energy.  It sucks the life out of me.  My vitamin B & vitamin D are in the toilet and my Celiac's is just not cooperating. I see my primary care doc and my rhuemmy tomorrow.  I will run over the 3 new added meds with them and then tell them I want to try The Whole 30.  As with everything, better to ask for permission than beg for forgiveness.  Especially when the guys with the white coats and script pads are the ones who rule your world.  

     The Whole 30.  It's a little crazy. A lot of preparation and planning. No alcohol!  But it's only that hard for the first 30 days.  I think I can do that.  I can give myself  the dedication of 30 days.  I haven't read the whole book yet, I'm going to do that tonight, but the idea that in 30 days I could reset my system.  That I could potentially get off some of these meds. Reduce my swelling and pain! Sleep better! Feel better! Be less of a miserable cow! I have to!

     Moooo! Yes, I am a self-admitted miserable cow.  I have night sweats and day sweats.  Everything hurts.  My guts are all bubbley.  My hair is falling out.  I can't sleep at night and am exhausted all day.  My depression is one of the hardest parts.  It's difficult explain to people ( especially the brood of males I live with).  Not only do I feel like my body is failing me but my mind is turning its back on me too.  I realize that depression is not something that people talk about. It is so very, very real! I know from the sidelines depression looks like a situational issue. My situation doesn't lend itself to a sympathetic audience.  I am a stay at home mom with  an amazing husband and healthy happy kids.  I live the glorious life in mid-western suburbia.  I can workout, lunch with my friends and don't want for much.  And yes, I am still depressed. I am physically and mentally not well and I want to be all over happy and healthy.  I don't want to sacrifice one for the other.
No more miserable cow syndrome.

     In my endeavors to be less of miserable cow, I have been more and more intrigued on what food could do to help heal me.  I have been inspired and encouraged by an amazingly awesome friend and I'm going to do it.  I'm going to start the first 30 days of The Whole 30 before weeks end.  I'm going to read, prep and plan.  I will blog about it too. I'll share my honest opinions and experiences.  Maybe even provide some inspiration! If not, I'm sure it will be hilarious and scary!  I will also be dedicating myself back to my workout wifey and spending as much time as I can not hiding, not letting my head talk me out of the potential for healing and getting back at feeling good.  If you are interested,http://whole30.com/.

Take care of you......

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