So, this popped into my news feed yesterday, http://www.arabamericannews.com/news/news/id_10454/Parents-accuse-Lowery-Middle-School-of-allowing-bullying-of-deaf-daughter.html#st_refDomain=m.facebook.com&st_refQuery=&st_refDomain=www.facebook.com&st_refQuery=/. Read it! If you have a kids, were a kid, knew a kid, lived by kid or heard about a kid who went through middle school you know that it isn't an easy thing. Zits, periods, hair growing everywhere, peer pressure and the looming thoughts of high school are just the tip of what is going on. That is on the small scale. But on a grander scale, there is this, a bullied child. Bullied because of hearing aids, her weight, the way she talks, etc. Why? Why is this OK? Who is raising these hate mongers to be so mean? Who is letting them get away with it? Why?
I can not wrap my brain around why this OK. I can not fathom someone, not even a child, coming to me and saying I'm so depressed that suicide is an option. All because some mean kids aren't being held accountable for their actions. Where is the zero tolerance policy police for this? I can tell you where they are. They are too scared to get involved. The people that are supposed to be in the schools to be a safe place for our kids to vent,when they need a voice, are scared. They are scared to stand up to little Johnny's or Suzy's parents because behind the little bullies are even bigger bullies. These big bullies,parents, come to the school and create such a scene that schools don't even bother to get involved. It's absolutely unacceptable.
The level of unacceptable behavior and actions , how they will be handled and repercussions for such, start at home. I'm far from perfect parenting. I have many screw-ups and mishaps daily. There is one constant. The boys know, when you leave this house you are a reflection of us, your parents. So, you better carry yourself that way. If you are going to be a jackass, do it at home ,so we can handle it. Not for all of God and country to tell me about it. I'm not Johnny's mom who thinks her kids can do no wrong. I will make a scene but not on your behalf, but because you know better. I have never liked getting involved in the kids squabbles and he/she doesn't like me etc. That in mind, I will be damned if I'm holding my kids to a standard of good moral and social high ground and little Johnny jackass is going to come to school and make everybody miserable. Nobody has to accept this. The only way that this is going to change is if parents all get on the same page.
What page? Where is this manual of perfect parenting ? Parenting manual? There isn't one. That's obvious... The more blatant fact that there isn't a manual for poor parenting either. You have to give a damn. You have to care about what goes on in the 8 hours your kid is at school. You have to not want them to get A's for showing up. You have to let them fail. You have to show up to not just your 9 to 5 but the other job that you signed up for, for the next 18+ years. You unleash your spawn out there. If they don't respect you or worry about what you are going to think, then what? They won't care about who they disrespect and what happens as they trash through life. They are unleashed on everyone else to be mean, rude, disrupt and wreak havoc for everyone else to deal with it. Who wants that? Who has time for that? I don't. I also don't want that infecting my kids, their classes, their teams and their social lives. Man the fuck up and start parenting your children so that we don't have to worry about the consequences of your child's behavior.
I'm going to step off my soap box, and promise something funnier and lighter next time. Having said that, I do hope that someone, somewhere has this girl's attention. That there is a parent, a friend, a teacher, anyone who cares, to tell her that she isn't what these kids are doing to her. That it isn't her fault. That they are sorry the system is failing her. That it isn't fair but it will get better. That their are going to be changes and they will see her through this. Kids need that. If you want good kids, 90% is showing up and being present. ( The other 10% is bribery, blackmail and fear. I kid!) If your kids know you are there, you will love them in spite of and because of who they are and what they do, they will want to be good people. They will want to do well, succeed and share that with you. There is nothing worse than a disappointed parent. ( I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Like a dagger to the heart! ) If your kids respect your opinion of them, then they will respect the opinion of what they show others.
Take care of you.....